Drake on the Docks – Play

ORIGINALLY I was going to talk about the work and then show it, but I have talked for a long time, so watch it now and then read.

After the crit yesterday I was inspired to go and markmake. Read on, because this is probably the most interesting work I’ve made in a while.

I’ve been working on the scene with my characters where Drake comes out first to Techo in the Big Tesco car park, and later that night, to Ludwig on the docks. One specific image rose out above the rest as I made notes and wrote for it, and that was of Drake speaking into the wind – not meeting Ludwig’s eye – and saying that he was gay out loud to someone else for the first time ever. This is on Courtington’s old Dock, but I vividly see the Charleston Dock (Cornwall) that we visited on holiday last month when I see it, so I’ve supplanted most of the details from that memory into the story.

I see this shot (thinking cinematically) from Ludwig’s point of view – stood to the right of Drake, looking left at him, a few metres along from the last street lamp before the sea. Dark blues and blacks. Maybe a little orange from the street lamp. At the bottom of this article, I’ll paste in a short excerpt from the writing in case you want to immerse yourself – which is important, because I literally operate inside this world.

Anyway. Markmade a bunch. Made a huge mess, scribbled on sheets of paper. Just made iterations on iterations of Drakes, thinking about atmosphere, angles, tension in the arms, in the eyes, expression, overall feeling. I tried to keep it loose and playful.

I then took all my iterations and overlaid them together in the same position – even though they’re physically different sizes. Made them into a video. I then dragged out the piano and took a two-chord progression from Berkley Square that always gets me misty eyed. Drake is a pianist, and I recorded myself for a few minutes while I just played around with a few other notes, and then played the chords a few times – just play. I took all that audio and chopped up my favourite little bits of it and overlaid it onto the video. I also synched up the final chord with the final image, as well as making the shots get slower throughout the video so you can take a better look at each image.

Drake totally plays Berkley Square, and later on in the timeline, he will sing it with Antonia. It’s also one of the big anthems for his relationship with Ludwig. It isn’t recognisable in the outcome but I need people to know how much meaning it has. I also see the slightly hesitant note-playing as Drake’s hands, not mine, during one of his practice sessions. It makes me feel closer to Drake and to the characters.

This more expressive work is new to me – really focusing on the feeling of the moment, less figurative, freer. I like it. I also used it to go back to my regular creative practice and incorporate it into a digital illustration, which – surprise! – you now get to see as a reward.

This way of making work is really successful, and I’ll tell it how it is: it’s using my one big compulsion to create – my characters – in new and creative ways so that my practice matures but I’m still this connected to, and passionate about, the work. If I can keep exploring and making character work like this, I think I’m about to have a really good time.

I close out with an extract from my writing. Read if you’re interested!

“So, the piece I’m actually learning, I have to play first – or I’ll never play it.”

Drake and Ludwig walked down towards the sea, coats pulled up to their necks. Now they had eaten, it was completely dark.

“There’s this one bit in Blue Moonlight, right after the second time you play the first bit, where it changes key and time signature. So I have to remember about five sharps all of a sudden, and play all these – jabby little – quick notes,” Drake mimed playing them, clearly unsatisfied with how he’d articulated the part.

Ludwig nodded, watching Drake’s hands and then his face. He moved in and out of the orange streetlamps – into darkness, and back again. Ludwig’s heart had leapt when Drake had suggested a walk with him alone: he didn’t expect anything, but he had a terrible crush on him. Each time they had met in the past month, Ludwig had grown more flustered. Drake’s eyes looked pretty when the street lamps hit them right.

Drake looked at Ludwig, and Ludwig looked away.

“What I should do,” Drake said, “is just play that middle part, over and over. But I never want to. It sounds so good when I play from the start, but I won’t get better doing it like that. I’ve been playing for years, and I still have no self-control when I practise.”

“You’re going to have to play me this piece,” Ludwig said. “When you’ve got the hang of it. Do you ever write your own music?”

Drake smiled, and Ludwig blushed.

“…Sometimes.”

“You’re definitely going to have to play me some of that!”

Drake laughed, shaking his head. “I knew you were going to say that. No.”

“Why not?”

The conversation ended as the boys found themselves at the sea, and could go no further. They were stood up on the fishing dock, a towering concrete wall that curved around some of Courtington’s largest bay. Stairs led down to other platforms, and then the sea – but the last streetlamp was behind them, barely lighting the platform they stood on.

Drake and Ludwig stood right at the top of the platform, drawing their coats in closer. The wind was coming from behind them as they faced the open water: only the endless hushing of waves suggested that the sea really was below them in the blackness.

Ludwig took a deep breath in.

“Coming out on a walk was a good idea. I was feeling bad today, but I think the fresh air is making me feel better.”

“Yeah.”

The wind took their voices straight out to sea. There wasn’t a soul around and Drake’s mind raced: if there was ever a time to tell Ludwig, then this was it. His mouth felt like it was seizing up as he watched Ludwig, preparing words he had sworn he had never let himself say out loud.

Drake looked out to the sea.

“Ludwig.”

Ludwig sensed how tense Drake had suddenly become beside him.

“I just thought I’d let you know that I’m, uh…” Drake’s throat caught, and he took a breath before finishing.

“I’m gay.”

Drake felt Ludwig’s eyes burning into the side of his face. He felt sick. He wished Ludwig would say something.

“But – ” Ludwig said – “You said you had a crush on Jennifer Aniston!”

“I was trying not to say George Michael!” Drake smiled and finally met Ludwig’s eye. He was surprised Ludwig had even remembered their conversation.

“Why didn’t you just say George Michael? He’s way more interesting than Jennifer Aniston!”

Drake’s voice softened.

“Ludwig… you’re the first person I’ve ever told that I’m gay.”

Ludwig was speechless.

“Earlier today, in the car,” Drake continued, “Techo did guess, and she asked me about it, and I didn’t argue with her. I don’t know how she guessed, mind you.”

Even in the weak light of the street lamp, Drake could tell that Ludwig was looking at him, and he flushed slightly.

“Drake… thanks for telling me.”

Ludwig hugged Drake. He had been told he gave good hugs, and at his height, Drake was almost on tiptoe. As he felt Drake’s arms around him, his heart skipped a beat.

Drake was gay? This was terrible news.

Because now, Ludwig realised, no matter how small the odds – he had a chance.